In 1976, the year I started studying at the Aaron Davis Center for the Performing Arts, Joe Papp of the N.Y. Shakespeare Festival staged a revival of “Three Penny Opera” at the Beaumont. It featured Raul Julia as the murdering, whoring, Macheath, prince of thieves in stinking, corrupt London. I loved the play and had even chosen the “Ballad of Immoral Earnings” scene to present in class with my acting partner. I was therefore delirious with anticipation until the performance date and enthralled throughout. I fell in love with Raul Julia that night. I know, I know. It is rather embarrassing how susceptible to love I am. It is both a curse and a blessing if you ask me, but I would have had to be cast in stronger metal to resist Julia’s dark eyes, his deep voice and his charisma as Mack the Knife. It’s a dangerous thing when an actor can play a criminal in a manner so powerfully seductive that one is irredeemably attracted. He had, I remember, a certain roguish gesture with his white scarf – flinging it in an effortless elegance I tried to replicate after the play, succeeding only in temporarily blinding the actor friend who had accompanied me to Lincoln Center. As it took a very long time for me to stop re-enacting Julia’s move, my classmates, keenly interested in keeping their eyes intact, became skilled in recognizing the least indication of the scarf’s sudden shrug and giving me a wide berth. I also sang that tango ballad, off-key and without respite, until everyone in the theater program was thoroughly sickened of it and me, and an intervention was staged. It was unsuccessful. The ballad remains to this day, one of my favorites.
That was the time, now very far away
He was so sweet he bashed me where it hurt.
And when the cash ran out the feathers really flew
He’d up and say: I’m going to pawn your skirt.
A skirt is nice, but no skirt is OK too.
He had his cheek, he kept me locked away all day
But came the night he brought acquaintances to play.
If I’d object he’d knock me headlong down the stairs
I had the bruises off and on for years.
That time’s gone past, but what would I not give
To see that whorehouse where we used to live?
That was a time now very far away
Not that our state seems much improved today
When afternoons were all I had for you
I told you she was generally booked up
(The night’s more normal, but daytime will do)
Once I was pregnant, so the doctor said
So we reversed positions on the bed
You thought your weight would make it premature
But in the end we flushed it down the sewer
That could not last, but what would I not give
To see that whorehouse where we used to live?

Bertolt Brecht and Kurt Weill
“In these dark times, will there also be singing?
Yes, there will be singing. About these dark times.”
It only means, that he hasn’t yet
Heard the dreadful news.
To talk about trees is almost a crime,
Because it is simultaneously silence about so many atrocities!
(Brecht)